Leamonade Living

Good evening my ghouls and ghosts and welcome to a spook-tacular edition of the Leamon family blog!

As we gear up for a fun day of Halloween partying and trick-or-treating, I thought I would send out a quick update regarding our own little pack of monsters who have been very good at haunting our late nights for the past several weeks.  So if you see us looking a little like the undead these days, you will know why!

Despite the two little night owls keeping us up most nights, and even though raising twins through this first year is extremely difficult, those rewarding, fun "twins" moments are starting to come more frequent.  We've recently caught them looking at each other, smiling at each other and holding hands all on their own.

This past month we caught Warren in his first giggle-fit and of course, Morgan might as well be "Dr. Giggles" himself (but without the penchant for sharp objects and a lack of anaesthesia).  That kid will crack up at anything and he has the biggest, brightest smile of any of our boys.

Parker had a blast carving pumpkins last night, he absolutely goes batty over Halloween!  He has literally been waiting for this day for a whole month and I know he's going to have a wonderful time checking out the haunted houses and racking up the candy this evening.

As a family, we're doing well although it definitely still feels somewhat like survival mode.  I don't expect that to change for another several months while we battle the night demons and find a way to get some sort of order in our house.  But until that happens, we will probably continue to wake from the grave every morning and do our best to continue to support each other.  And of course, it wouldn't even be possible without the continued support of our family who contribute to our sanity by pitching in in various ways.

So that's it for now, have a wonderful Halloween, be safe and have a ghoulishly good time!

--Corey

I thought I would check in and let everyone know about a pretty cool experience Trisha and I had last weekend. 

About a month ago, we were invited to speak at a Chiropractic conference downtown by one of the most influential Doctors of Chiropractic in the nation (Dr. David Jackson).  So last Sunday, we spoke in front of a group of about 100 Chiropractors and after watching Wyatt's Story on video, we got up on stage and talked to them about our experience and lack of knowledge that there were any alternatives to antibiotics which ultimately is the main culprit for why we lost our son. 

As you can imagine, the entire room was crushed and in tears.

After our talk, Dr. Jackson got up on stage with us and surprised us big time.  He had started the Wyatt Leamon Foundation (something I mentioned wanting to do in a previous lunch meeting) and wants his Chiropractic brethren to work with us in raising money and awareness for our cause.  It was an amazing, amazing surprise and I couldn't help but completely break down into tears. 

We also had a great opportunity to chat with many of the Doctors after our presentation and they were all so kind and genuine and I have such respect for the caring and hope that these people bring to a "sickcare" system that is littered with horror stories and full of broken promises.

This was how "The Wyatt Leamon Foundation" was born and I look forward to more speaking engagements and bringing our message regarding alternatives to antibiotics, organ donation and healthcare reform to the masses.

So while we are just getting started in this effort, I can't help but be encouraged by the fact that my promise to our friends and family the day we buried Wyatt is coming true.  I promised that Wyatt would not die in vain and that his story was going to help others and save lives.  I believe that promise just received a huge shot of rocket fuel and I am starting to suspect that even I hadn't realized the possibilities for what Wyatt's legacy may become. 

So definitely stay tuned for a lot more information on this topic and if you are on Facebook or Twitter, hit us up!  Simply go to www.wyattsleamonadestand.com and click on the links on the splash page.

Oh, and watch for another halloween-related blog tomorrow!

--Corey

Today, we said good-bye to our beagle Buffy who graced our lives for the last 8 years.  While she had her quirks, overall, she was a great dog who enriched our lives and was absolutely wonderful with the kids.  Its hard to believe that just 8 short years ago, she was this frisky (and skinny) little lemon beagle who would wrestle with her brother Beamer at 6am in the morning quickly drawing the ire of all our neighbors and making us not-so popular!

I have to admit, as much as I felt prepared for this day (she's been ailing pretty badly over the past few months, even years)... there were some very emotional parallels between saying good-bye to her and saying good-bye to our little Pie Man just a little over a year ago.  Between stroking her hair as she took her final breaths to the empty feeling of her lost bedtime routine... I once again felt the helplessness of watching my family experience a deep loss.  As we arrived home this evening from dinner, I noticed how quiet our entry into the house was without her whines and barks...without the jingle of her little collar.  She would get sooo excited when we got home, even in her last few days when she could hardly walk. 

Our family is really going to miss her.

Parker seems to be handling it pretty well now that the day is over.  This morning we were preparing him for the idea that she would not be there when he got home from school.  He burst into tears and then we all just kind of fell apart.  But the good news is he's doing much, much better.  He is still asking questions and trying to make sense of why his brother and now his dog have "gone to the angels" but I think his outburst this morning served as his way of processing his fear and grief over what was to come and then he was back to his normal goofy self.  Tonight, he discussed with his mom how one day, we could maybe have a new pet.  Elephants, giraffes, monkeys and bears were all put on the table but he quickly warned Trisha that a bear would probably eat us so we've since ruled that one out.

As for us, we are going to plug along and just keep taking things one day at a time.  We are a strong and tight-knit family and I believe we will continue that trend through the rest of the year and into 2010 where hopefully we find ourselves with fewer frowns and much more laughter. 

Speaking of laughter, our little twin cowboys are a riot!  They turn 4 months old tomorrow and they are just so darn entertaining!  They look nothing alike, act nothing alike and people are constantly blown away by that, often outright asking us if they are even twins!  We continue to get stares, smiles, and completely random conversation while we are out and about.  These two little guys are rock stars and they are soaking up the fun, constantly smiling, giggling, cooing and love to be the center of attention!  They truly are a joy and I am appreciative of the bonding that continues to sprout with every new day, even as they continue to test our patience in a lot of ways (twins are flat out hard freakin' work!).

And as we continue to feel the winds of change blow through our family and the season turns the page from summer to fall, we will move forward even as our house feels a bit more empty as we adjust to the reality that Wyatt and Buffy no longer live with us but live on in our hearts and memories.

Good night my angels, Godspeed little Pie Man and Godspeed little Buff Puff!

--Corey

As always, the milestone days throughout the year bring a lot of emotion.  Some laughter, some tears, and today is no different.  My family lives with a dual set of juggled emotions that somehow has learned to co-exist with each other and its a very strange, but real phenomenon. 

Here are some of the milestones reached during the past month with Parker and the twins!

• Parker started school Monday and is now going full-time
• Just before starting school, he completed an initial round of swimming lessons and did great
• The twins are officially three months old today!
• They are fully interactive now with Morgan eliciting giggle fits and smiles like crazy while Warren loves to coo and smile and just stare up at you with his big brown eyes that totally remind me of Wyatt 

Speaking of Wyatt, I cannot help but feel the loss of Wyatt take its rightful place in the forefront at this time.  Today is his birthday.  He would be two years old.  I can only imagine what he might be doing today if he were still with us.  How tall would he be?  What would his hair look like?  How many words would he be saying?  How fast could he walk/run?  How much fun would he be having playing with his brother who is just so good with little ones?

I guess as we continue on in this life we will continue to experience the curse of wondering these questions every single year until the day we die and no words can describe how downright awful that feeling is.

Its all part of this mountain we continue to climb and for the day, we are going to celebrate on top of Splash / Space / Matterhorn Mountain and enjoy our yearly celebration of Wyatts birthday at Disneyland. 

But for now, I close my eyes and  think back two years ago when our little Pie Man was born and his brother was just so happy and proud to meet him.  That was one of the best days of my life and the time spent bonding with Wyatt over the next 9 months was one of the happiest periods of my life.  It really is a sick tragedy that it all had to end so soon and that my family continues to carry the weight of his loss on its shoulders. 

I have so much love for my little boy... so much that I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest.  I miss you dearly Wyatt, my little Pie Man... Happy Birthday, I love you!

--Dad

The verdict is in and the prognosis isn't rosy.

Over the past year, I've posted a lot of the ups-and-downs regarding our experience with the loss of Wyatt and how our lives have changed since.  We've been "blessed" by plenty of things including our kids (still can't believe, twins!), my job, family and friends, etc. 

Unfortunately, the negative collateral damage of loss continues to reverberate through my family and todays post is going to delve a little deeper into what exactly has occurred since Wyatt passed away, the even alone as big and devastating a loss as one could ever imagine.

The Day After

The morning after Wyatt passed away, I began writing "Wyatt's Story: A Father's Retelling of How the Health System and one of our Nations Best Hospitals Failed a 9 Month Old in Need of a Liver Transplant."  It took me almost two full days to complete it and the events that were chronicled in the article still dominate my memories of the 10 months in which my son blessed our lives.

But one other thing that came from putting those events to paper was a true understanding that something more than circumstance took place over the course of those 30 days.  As much as every doctor I've talked to would like me to believe that what happened to us was simply a heart-breaking tragedy, I believe that there were several critical errors made, in particular, by the UCLA medical staff that led to my son never even receiving a chance at life.  And while there was no intention to reach the outcome that we did, I do believe that for the most part, the doctors, the process, and hell, the overall system deserved to be put on notice and answer for how things went so horribly wrong.  So we hired a law firm (wonderful group, http://www.jmcelroylaw.com/) and attempted to sue UCLA for medical malpractice.

As of yesterday (almost a year later), we learned the outcome of our efforts to pursue that lawsuit and unfortunately, it looks as if we've capped this journey frought with brick walls with one more final wall... this one reinforced by steel.

Rewind to... The Line

"Sorry, but it happens." 

OK, so when we sat in the room surrounded by the UCLA team, they weren't really blowing us off in that manner.  They did look concerned, saddened by the loss of my little boy who had died only minutes before.  But in the end, that has been the song sung to us since that day by medical staff involved in our case whether it comes in devastating fashion from a Radys doctor who was shocked to hear about the loss of her patient Wyatt, the UCLA staff who called us the week following his death or the expert from Stanford who reviewed our files as part of our pending case.

But to leave us with that as our "final answer", is simply an injustice!  I really wonder what some of these doctors would have done had they been the ones to lose a baby in the fashion that we did!  What questions would they ask?  What answers would they demand?  What steps would they resolve to take to make sure something like this didn't happen again? 

Bottom-line is this, we brought in a sick, but stable baby and after 30 days of process, system, and several key errors in judgement, my son did not receive a chance at life and was pronnounced dead on the way to the OR to receive his transplant.

I do not believe something like that just "happens".  I believe the reactions by all the medical staff at UCLA (during and after the discovery of his death), their attitude and decisions leading up to his death along with the statistics of liver transplant survivors backup the fact that this is actually an anomoly case where the people responsible for his care made crucial mistakes. 

My wife and I are not ignorant people.  We were there, we saw what we saw and we heard what we heard.  And I'm sure everyone involved is sleeping fine at night knowing that they do not guarantee an outcome.  That perhaps this was even best for Wyatt and our family in the long-run because of the side-effects of a liver transplant.  But God Damnit I believe we deserved insight into where those mistakes were made and how they would dedicate themselves to avoid making them again in the future.

This is why we attempted to sue, because the "excuses" we received after the fact were just that... excuses.  They were not the full disclosure that our family deserves and they know that there is a powerful system in place to protect them from any repercussion.  The funny thing is, had they come clean and gave us the truth "i.e. we just mis-judged how sick Wyatt was by his physical appearance and so we did not fast-track the riskier solutions", we probably never would have filed a lawsuit.

A Tough Pill

When we filed our suit, we did so with the intent of voicing our displeasure with how the system failed us and Wyatt.  If they settled, then to me, that is an admission.  If they didn't settle, then we get a day in court to air the story out in public.  Either way, we could be proud to have taken a fight to them, it didn't matter how much it cost or what the outcome of the case would be.  I wonder if most people realize how difficult it is to get people to listen to something like this outside of some sort of sensationalized, headline making lawsuit.  People will send jokes, chain letters, scams and all sorts of junk all day long via e-mail, but few take the time to send on the video of our story so that it reaches critical mass.  They will get fired up about Facebook's home page redesign and sign petitions and post messages about the "injustice" of changing their precious social network site, but won't take five minutes to visit a website and sign-up to be an organ donor to help other families who are in the midst of the same ordeal we went through a little over a year ago (those of you who have done so are the exceptional few and we love you for it!).

And in the end, the medical community will protect its own through a powerful political lobby and a reluctance to take a stand against a process that clearly has weak points.  I can see the difficulty in that type of courage, because taking that stand could put their own careers and families at risk.  And perhaps some believe their own karma is as stake.  But that does not mean its right and pardon the pun, its a very tough pill to swallow for me and my family.

Yesterday the news came in that after almost after a year of investigation, our one "expert" who was willing to (take $1,000 to) look at our files, basically gave us a heartfelt "sorry, but it happens".  And the realization that our voices have been buried right alongside my 9-month-old son has set in.

The Ripple Effect

The day we lost Wyatt, I could not have known the vast ripple effect it would have on my family (and rightly so, I didn't really care).  Overall, we've done well, have found happiness, and I'm proud of that fact.  But the losses continue to mount and even though we attempted to sue knowing fully that we would probably not see any light at the end of that tunnel, the other aspect of that is, I do believe that our loss was a catalyst for some additional major hardship to follow.  I now realize that I do want financial compensation for our loss and I do not believe that is an unreasonable desire.

The thing is, over a year later, my family is in a precarious position.  Losing Wyatt did more than break the shape of our family.  It also broke how we function.  Financially more than anything, we've gone from nearly debt-free, over 700 credit scores and in line to a successful, stable future... to filing chapter 7, ignoring dozens of calls from creditors on a daily basis and uncertainty about how we're going to give our kids the tools they need to succeed in life.  We were forced to ruin our credit by stopping payment on our home, and even though we have a loan modification in place, we are still at risk for losing our home to foreclosure because of unpaid property taxes.  Our real-estate business model which did so well for us in '08 has taken a turn and while I think we could've weathered the storm if Trisha could've gone back to work, losing Wyatt made that an impossiblity.  Now our investments are at risk which were to replace the loss of most of our retirement savings (which went bye-bye in our initial attempt to be honest borrowers and pay on our home while ramping up on our investment business).

Now don't get me wrong, this is not a a "Whoa is me" pitty party, a call for help in any way, nor do I put the blame for all of this solely on the shoulders of UCLA, insurance company profits and the U.S. healthcare system.  And I realize that tragedy and injustice happens to an even greater degree all over the country and the world and I am thankful for the good things I have in life.

But we have been perservering for a decade before, excelling at finding ways to weather our storms and this was going to be no different... until our family was robbed of a piece of its core... a piece of its heart.  Like taking the legs from a marathon runner an hour before the race was to start, there is no getting back on the same track for us now.  Somehow, we've got to wheel ourselves over to a whole new track, and figure out what sorts of dips and valleys are in store for us.

What the Future Holds

We aren't going to completely curl up into a ball and give up and certainly we haven't even come close to it.  We still have a few avenues we will look at for making our voices heard.  But in the end, I believe the majority of what we are capable of doing has been done and for the most part, the conversation has changed and life is moving on.  We've been forced to open our own eyes and make positive changes within ourselves and I am grateful to others who've been touched and made positive changes because of what happened with us and Wyatt.  Certainly there are lessons there that we can all learn.  And I know his death isn't in vein by any means.  The love my family feels for him will never be lost in obscurity simply because life has its systems in place to keep us shielded from confronting its darker moments. 

But I still can't help but feel a bit deflated, no matter how little expectation I had going in to the lawsuit process.

Like a week of insanity over a Facebook redesign fading off into the distance and life moving on, the truth is that we were wronged through a system of deliberate acts alongside terrible circumstance, it happens every single day all over the world, and in the grand scheme of things, it is a mere blip of a blip (times one-million) of an event that took place in a vast universe that has existed for billions of years and will continue to do so long after we're gone. 

In the end, the status quo for the majority of this life remains unchanged, lawsuit or not while my family literally reboots itself like the new series of Batman movies.  And I'm not complaining, as I stated above, despite it all, my family is finding happiness and doing its best to make the most out of what we've been faced with.

But I've got to keep it real... and that my friends, is what I call "Full Disclosure".  

--Corey

 

I cannot believe summer is nearly over and "back-to-school" commercials are all over TV!  I remember how it felt during my summer breaks to start seeing those ads and realizing how soon school would be upon us... eeewww, that was a gross feeling!

These days, the passage of time is very conflicting within me.  I really look forward to the day where a portion of this chapter is closed and a new one is open.  The past year and a half has simply been way too emotionally extreme for this family and I hope that one day soon, we begin to find some normalcy.

On the other hand, time is flying by so fast that I find myself a little anxious about it.  Wyatt's birthday, holidays, a new year, Parker turning 5, etc. is all right around the corner!  I think if we blink, we may miss it and I am doing my best to keep those eyelids propped open as best I can.

Take for instance these twins!  In the past month, we've seen our first smiles, heard baby coos, watched them look around and grab for things, etc.  We've also seen continued improvement on the sleep schedule.  For the most part, they wake up once a night, usually right around 3am, but go right back to sleep after feeding.  About a week ago, they even pretty much slept through the night.  I woke up just before 5am to find them finishing up feeding and when I looked out the window and saw some light, I realized that we just had an almost full night of sleep!

Parker is enjoying his little brothers, but I think he is also a little bored.  It's just a helluva lot of work to keep up with a household of 3 kids, especially with twins.  Sometimes, its hard to just find time to do some of the little things like pay bills or brush your teeth.

Overall, I think life is going well.  We're working through our financial issues, my job is going very well, the twins are getting much more interactive, and Parker is such a wonderful little boy that I can't even put into words how fortunate we are to have him.  And that somehow, the loss of his little brother hasn't seem to had any major detrimental effects on him.

One month from now, on the 3rd anniversary of the birth of my twins, we will be remembering another milestone... what would have been Wyatt's second birthday.  I really, really miss my little Pie Man and hope that a month from now, we can take some time from this crazy adventure to remember him and celebrate his birthday at Disneyland.

Until then, I hope everyone is doing well and remember, don't blink!

--Corey

In a rare moment of silence, I find myself on this computer, which (if you know me), is not how I would choose to spend free time.  Although I'm eating ice cream too which is more "me" in my free time.

But anyhow, my point is, I just don't feel quite like me lately.  My life is certainly 180 degrees different than how I imagined and also how it was just a few years ago.  Before I go on, I'll just let everyone know that things are going surprisingly well with the twins and life in general.  I rarely check in so for those of you who wonder, I am actually doing ok.  Maybe more "surviving" on this chaos, but doing ok nonetheless. 

As I have been attempting to settle into this new world I have been given, I have realized that I have had a recurring theme throughout my life.  To put a name to it, Resilience.  But in my head it's always been "This really really sucks, but I know I will make it through it".

I can remember feeling that on so many occasions...from my parents divorce, moving to a new town, when my first boyfriend couldn't stand me anymore, when I moved away after high school and I really didn't want to & when I came back home because it wasn't working out, when I realized I had hurt a lot of people in my life from a time when I was caught up in lies.  Later when Corey lost his job right as we were closing escrow on our condo, when I gained a million pounds & then lost it and then gained it back. When I realized we had to get rid of our dog that I loved because I loved Parker so much more.  So many times when I have run into rough times, I always felt this.  I don't know that I always articulated it, but it was always there. 

Obviously the biggest of course is when we lost our Wyatt.  I felt that sentiment the entire time in the hospital (before I realized he was actually losing his battle), but also after he was gone.  The biggest difference with Wyatt is that I have to keep reminding myself that we will keep making it through.  I knew I had to take something from it, whether it is sharing his story or helping educate others on organ donation or medications, and not let it always take from me.  I guess I feel that if losing Wyatt takes me hostage too, then the wonderful memories of him and his message is lost too.

But I find myself again feeling this theme.  Life with two babies is hectic.  And please don't misinterpret this, because I know (more than ever) what I blessing these two babies are.  They are wonderful little guys and we can't wait to see them grow.  Warren definitely has a personality and I can't wait until he can talk so he can finally just tell us what's on his mind.  Morgan is a funny mellow little guy and I can't wait to see how he looks in a few months because we have never seen a baby like him in our family!  We are wading through those first few months of feeding and soothing and waiting for the first smiles.  We know there is a lot of fun ahead of us.  But it's difficult having two at once (and a toddler who needs attention) and a lot of the time "it sucks but I know I will get through it"! 

It really boils down to the fact that by nature, I am not one who readily accepts help.  Frankly, "I can do it myself" and generally I prefer it that way.  I am independent and stubborn and I really really really do not like being "the one who always needs help".  It's very tough for me to come to grips with the fact that right now and for probably some time, I will have to be this person and I will have to make some space to accept that I am this person.  I have no problem being the quiet one in the corner and it's a circus most of the time with helpers and babies crying and never having a moment of simplicity.  So for all of you who have come along for the ride, I apologize if I am grumpy at times, it's simply because I have no idea who I am at the moment and it doesn't feel normal yet.  But I know I will get through it. 

Trisha

I thought I would post a little tribute to my country who gets little notice in my life at the moment but deserves some credit.  While my world perception has been completely and forever altered over the past year due to obvious circumstances, I still truly believe that we live in the greatest nation on Earth.  I feel extremely fortunate for the life I lead and the blessings in my life and many of them are made possible due to being an American citizen.

So Happy Birthday America and for all of you out there who follow along with my humble little ramblings, my family and I (and especially Parker) wish you and yours a very happy fourth of July. 

--Corey

Well, we've made it through a very challenging month and are starting to settle into life as the parents of twins!  I must admit, it is a very strange thing!  Today is the one-month anniversary of the birth of our twins so I thought it would be a good time for some random observations and updates...

- I think describing our lives as a "circus" is very accurate right now.  We walk around with the two car seats and / or the double stroller and people stare at us, whisper and give us all sorts of comments and feedback.  I had no idea people were so interested in twins!

- Not only that, but at home, it truly is a three-ring circus.  Feeding, pooping, sleeping.  Just trying to balance it all out while attempting to take time for ourselves and for Parker.  I think we're doing good, but there's no way to hit a perfect balance and that continues to be an hourly challenge that I'm sure will continue to test us for the next several months.

- I have been very pleasantly surprised at our ability to get an ok night of sleep.  They do tend to wake up every 3 or 4 hours for a feeding, but usually crash out pretty quickly and definitely do not have a problem sleeping in fairly late in the morning (I got out of bed at 8:30am this very AM).

- We were unfortunately hit with the first of what I'm sure will be many more "family wide" sicknesses this past week.  That was definitely tough as it cut into our sleeping and as everyone with kids knows, life still has to go on during the day!  Hopefully the worst is behind us.

- Both boys seem to be growing well and gaining weight despite a very big propensity to barf up their meals almost completely at random.  I know Parker was really bad, but I cannot remember him being quite this bad.  Of course, it may simply seem overwhelming due to the fact that I am personally feeding a lot more than I ever did with Parker (P didn't take a bottle).

- The personalities of these boys couldn't be more different.  Morgan definitely reminds me more of Parker.  He's fairly calm, but seems to have more problems throwing up and being gassy.  Warren on the other hand, is very intense, much like Wyatt as an infant (although I think even more so).  He demands attention and food and will let you know about it instantly! 

- Warren almost eerily resembles Wyatt.  We plan on posting some pics soon and you guys will be blown away.  I think because of this resemblance, or maybe because he tends to be a little more awake and alert, Parker seems to really be drawn to him.

- Morgan has the cutest little mohawk... I hope that sticks around for a while!  I love to stroke it in the middle of the night while he is feeding!  Sometimes I really hug him tight because of my experience with him in the hospital NICU and the end result of bringing him home safely.  Its both to say "I'm sorry" to him for him having to experience that, and also to make up for the fact that I was not able to do that with Wyatt (bring him home safely).

- Trisha is kicking butt and doing the best she can and I give her mad props for taking on as much as she does.  We also have been getting a lot of help from friends and family and it is very much appreciated (and needed)!

That's about it for now, have a great fourth of July weekend!

--Corey

Today marks the one year anniversary since you were so tragically and prematurely stolen from us and my heart still remembers how it felt the moment I knew you were gone.  As I continue to grieve for you while embracing this new life, I've invited friends and family to remember you here as we've all been touched by the gift of having known you and only wish we could've known you for longer than just a couple handfuls of months.

Today, you'd be just a couple months shy of your second birthday, chasing your brother around and probably yappin' up a storm.  I wonder every day what might you look like even though I love that perfect little chubby body and beautiful smile you've been enshrined with for all eternity.

I love and miss you dearly little man and having known you in my life has forever changed me in countless ways and I'll always be thankful for it.  I only wish you could be around to meet your new twin brothers.  Parker missed you so much that I think he's become addicted to kissing them!  He's doing good though. We as a family are hanging in there and doing things a lot better such as simply loving each other and doing our best to appreciate life's blessings whenever they arise.

Thank you my son for all the lessons you have taught me and I continue to think about you each and every day, just wishing I could hold you and laugh with you like we used to.

Godspeed little Pie Man... I love you so much.

Dad

I never could've imagined that in my thirties, I'd be "celebrating" fathers day without one of my children.  Right now, as I look back on what was going on one year ago today, its hard for me to feel much but hurt and anger.  It was one year ago today (almost to the hour) that I literally watched the medical staff at UCLA fumble and bumble around with the balance of my sons life hanging in their hands and wow did they fail spectacularly!  One year ago today, I watched what probably caused the brain damage that was inflicted upon my son (which I was to find out the next morning) robbing him of a chance at a beautiful, wonderful life.

And today, I'm flat out angry about it!

Tomorrow will be a time for grief, hope and looking ahead as we celebrate Wyatt's life on the anniversary of his passing.  I will post a blog that will act as his online "vigil" and welcome anyone and everyone to share their thoughts and feelings... it's always nice to hear from those who were touched by him whether in name, story or in person.

In the meantime, I want to express my anger and let you all know that while I am looking to one day accept what has taken place and perhaps even forgive the complex systems and people (and even any "Supreme Being" if they exist) who conspired to deliver the terrible outcome of last years events, that day is not today.  Today I am angry that I sit here at the computer writing and editing video about my son Wyatt instead of sharing a beautiful day with him and the rest of the family out at the Lawrence Welk timeshare resort.

Today, I look at the negative side of these events and I curse them and have a drink not to toast in celebration but to numb the pain and allow me to continue on.  Because today is a lonely father's day for me as I miss my family, friends and most of all, my son Wyatt.  I'm sorry that I cannot celebrate with all you wonderful fathers out there who are moving through life and being what they were destined to be... one-hundred percent, pure-grade dad.

Here's to you fathers, you've earned a nod and much respect.  Cheers!

--Corey

The day after the arrival of the Leamon twins, we were chilling out in the hospital room with our new additions, just enjoying the fact that they were finally here.  I had a few errands to run and when some company arrived to hang out with Trisha and the twins, I seized my moment to make a quick run out.

As I waited for the elevator that never seemed to be near the floor we were on, my phone rang.  It was my mother-in-law.

"The doctor needs to talk to you and Trish," she told me.  

"I'll be right there," I replied.  Before I could even hang up, my heart sank and probably skipped a couple of beats... this didn't sound good.

Trouble with Morgan

The doctor knew our experience with Wyatt and we could tell he was doing his best to let us down easy.  

There was a bad reading on one of Morgan's tests.  

Basically, Morgan's blood test was showing signs of a blood infection, something they called "Neonatal Sepsis".  Neonatal Sepsis is a fairly common infection for newborns and is certainly treatable.  But there was a scary aspect to it and that is, if not treated quickly, it's fatal... and is considered one of the leading causes of death for infants.

Over the next 72 hours, they would have to take samples of Morgan's blood culture and test for the growth of an infection.  They would have to treat Warren as well (as a precaution, they always treat twins since they both had exposure to whatever bacteria may have caused the infection).  If the next one came back positive again, they would need to do a spinal tap to test if the infection had made it into his spinal fluid.

A Flood of Difficult Memories

Along with these very serious physical issues with Morgan we were looking at, the emotional issues hit us like a ton of bricks.  To treat this infection, they would normally treat with two types of antibiotics, one of which is called Ampicillin, from the same Penicillin family as Amoxicillin.  As most of you know, we believe Amox is the culprit in a drug reaction that one year ago today, Wyatt was fighting a losing battle for his life against.  The entire staff in labor and delivery knew about our loss and were obviously very concerned about the situation.  They would later remove the Ampicillin from the treatment that was to take place.  Still, both my boys (they would have to treat Warren as a precaution, they always treat twins since they both had exposure to whatever bacteria may have caused the infection) would need to be treated with antibiotics which, 'cillin or not... is freaky.

There were other challenges to face as well.  After a very difficult 38 weeks of carrying those babies, Trisha (who herself was in a lot of pain from her incision which was becoming infected and would eventually require treatment with antibiotics as well) had to watch as they wheeled Morgan out of the room to transfer him to the NICU.  They would need to monitor him in the very NICU that Wyatt spent the first two days of his life in, and in general, since Wyatt spent the majority of his final 30 days fighting for his life in a NICU setting, it was nearly impossible to not feel the experience of losing Wyatt pour back into our present consciousness.

Deja'vu

As a stream of difficult thoughts raced through our heads from questioning the Gods / Fates to fairly morbid things such as where Morgan might have to be buried in relation to Wyatt if he didn't make it, it was all simply too much and both Trisha and I had a pretty significant breakdown as we prepared to face an unknown future of another Leamon baby boy.

We did our best to try and pull together and begin the process of dealing with this scary scenario and the first thing on the agenda was to move from our large and accommodating space to a much more petite pediatric patient room that was across the hall from the NICU.  This was not ideal space-wise, but definitely allowed us to be closer to Morgan as we would spend a lot of hours in a hospital NICU once again.  My first view of Morgan hooked up to the monitor with the wires and IV coming out of his body was another tear-jerker and the looks of concern in the nursing staff could not be contained.  Many of them tried to console me citing how good the staff was and how well he would be taken care of. 

"Funny," I thought.  "They told us the same stuff with Wyatt".

I spent several hours that evening in the NICU, curtain drawn, alone with Morgan sleeping on my chest as his vitals continually updated on the monitor.  I could not help but be reminded of the countless hours I spent in the same position in the final days I spent with my son Wyatt.

Tapping Inner Strength

The next morning, both Trisha and I were feeling a little less beat down and ready to confront this challenge.  We had had a decent nights sleep and Trisha was even able to get a good round of breastfeeding in before saying good-night to Morgan.  Overall, his vitals were strong and he showed no signs of an infection (something the doctors felt he should've been exhibiting by now).

Somehow, despite the morbid history of our previous experience, we started to feel encouraged by the positives. His vitals were good, he was eating more, this was a fairly common occurrence for newborns and the medical staff had found it quickly and began treatment almost as fast.

We awaited the results of his second culture test and prepared for the idea of our son receiving a spinal tap and having to spend 2 to 3 weeks in the hospital while his family went home.

A Sigh of Relief as we Head Home

When the nurse casually told me, I couldn't believe my ears.  For the second time in two days, I was like "Wah, seriously?" and my chin was on the floor.

The result was negative.

Not only was the result negative which essentially meant no infection, but he was going to be able to be moved out of the NICU and back into our room sooner rather than later.  And as the day progressed and the relief began to wash through us, we welcomed our little boy back into our arms from his short-lived stay in the NICU.  

That wasn't the end of our good news!  Not only was there no infection at all (they chalked it up to a contaminated specimen), but they were starting to discuss with us the possibility of leaving the hospital.  This was Friday, the 5th of June... and about a day earlier than expected.

By lunch, they had ceased the antibiotic treatments and an hour or two later, removed the IV's from the veins of my two boys.  A couple hours after that, we said good-bye to many of the Palomar staff who were a wonderful bunch of people that helped keep us going under some pretty extraneous circumstances.  

And while it was difficult to be angry over the detour to the NICU, I did manage to thank the doctors for the "sick, cruel joke" they played on our family!

Double the Blessings

So once again, we find ourselves recovering from that yin versus yang position that somehow our family continues to be confronted with.  Cursed from the difficulty of the past year, but blessed in the new twists and turns that life has thrown our way.  We have been home for three days now and these two little guys have already possessed our hearts and minds as newborns often do to their families.

And once again, as I gaze down at the two little boys who are sleeping soundly next to each other and wonder how the heck we have made it to this point, I find myself thankful for what I have... thankful for welcoming home two new Leamon boys to round out the posse of my four little cowboys... Parker, Wyatt, Morgan and Warren.  

--Corey
 

On June 2nd, 2009, the Leamon twins decided that it was time to join us out in the real world and what a wild ride it was!  Here is the story about the birth of my twin boys, Morgan and Warren…

Expect the Unexpected

Are you kidding me?  What a crazy deal this pregnancy bit is.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… you can’t expect anything other than the unexpected!

Take for instance the fact that Monday morning we “scheduled” our induction which I say loosely since we were essentially put on a waiting list for Thursday (the 4th).  And as history has shown us (with Wyatt), scheduling a day is a pretty good shot in the dark and often does not happen that way.  With Wyatt, it took several days to get in.

So with the week still young and almost no “natural” action, we were a little gun shy with the process and basically were trying to be as calm and patient as possible.  We were essentially preparing for the possibility that they may not even make it our way that week (which was really going to suck!).

Instead, our little dudes decided to take matters into their own hands, and delivered in amazing fashion!

The Cosmic 2nd

June 2nd, 2009, 3:20am.  I was awake which isn’t surprising because anytime I heard Trisha get up and shuffle around downstairs, my light sleeping ability would kick in and I would anticipate a call.  For about 3 to 4 weeks, the call didn’t come.

I should’ve known better, it was the early morning of the 2nd!  The significance of the day is amazing due to the fact that both of our two children, Parker and Wyatt were born on the 2nd day of the month (May and September respectively).  It follows a pretty interesting pattern in my family in that both myself and my brother were born on the 8th and both Trisha and her sister Pam were born on the 26th.

As you can imagine, we had hoped for the birth of the twins on June 2nd but it had to happen naturally since the earliest we could schedule an induction was the 4th.

My phone was ringing.

The caller ID read “Trisha Leamon” and sure enough, her water had broken right around 3:20am on Thursday morning.  My first thought was “holy crap, it’s the 2nd, my kids will be born on the 2nd!”  My second thought was “damn, good thing I decided to fire up the laptop the night beforeand get some work done cuz I ain’t goin’ into the office for the rest of the week!”

I hopped out of bed and we got ready to go!

Ramping Up

With Wyatt, we had to schedule an induction because his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck three times and while we were scheduled sooner, it just so happened that they couldn’t get us in until the 2nd.  With the twins, we seemed to be following Parker’s pattern but with some definite differences.

Just like Parker’s birth day, Trisha’s water broke.  But from there, her body showed no signs of labor and eventually, she had to be induced with Petocin.  This time around, the cramping and contractions started almost immediately.  We spent a few minutes making our final preparations and then we were off to the hospital, not a moment too soon because the contractions were really kicking in.

By the time we were admitted into our room, Trisha had dilated from 2 to 4cm.

Toughing it Out

With the contractions hitting almost full intensity pretty quickly, the first hour and a half was a pretty rough ride.  I simply cannot imagine what a contraction feels like and what a woman goes through during the process but I certainly could see the amount of pain Trisha was in and all I could do was squeeze her hand as tight as possible.  It really is such a helpless feeling for a husband to just stand there and watch his wife in agony and not be able to do anything about it.

We put a picture of Parker and Wyatt right next to the bed and already the emotions were starting to run high as we awaited Trisha’s epidural.

Chillaxin’

Ah, the epidural.  What a beautiful thing!  As the contractions seemed to be pounding harder and quicker, each one seeming to want to out due the previous one in both length and intensity, Trisha got her epidural.

It couldn’t have come sooner which was great, but then again, we were hit by another twist in the wild ride that was our morning.

Record Time

Within a half an hour (about two hours after we got to the hospital) of getting her epidural, the nurse made a startling announcement… “you’re complete!”. 

I was like “Wah?  Are you serious?”

After I picked my chin up off the floor, we made a beeline to the operating room (OR) and before I could blink or take a breath, the doctor was in and Trisha was  pushing!

Sweet and Sour Delivery

Just like Parker and Wyatt, Morgan was out almost instantly and when I announced it on Facebook, I started getting threats of violence from our women friends who had a few more bumps in their deliveries!  But I’ll admit, even I was shocked at how fast things had moved even though both Trisha and I had warned our nurses that history has proven that Trisha delivers fast!  But even though it came fast, that payoff moment was just so wonderful and the faucet of tears came streaming on.  I was overwhelmed with joy and couldn’t believe that I had one more to go!

As Morgan was going through the motions in the OR under the care of the wonderful staff here at Palomar, things were tensing a bit with Warren.  First, Trisha’s contractions seemed to be subsiding.  Second, because things moved so fast right after Trisha getting her epidural, she was hitting her peak on the pain medication and pretty much could not feel herself pushing.  Finally, Warren seemed to be “stuck” and when she would push, Warren’s heart rate would drop significantly.  After few valiant efforts, it was obvious… time for a C-section.  While I am thrilled that mom and babies are fine now, I see that the emotional payoff of seeing your child born naturally is completely taken from the C-section process and I am sorry that of my four kids, I was not able to experience this with Warren.

But in the end, we cannot complain, we had two happy, healthy babies and as my dad would say in a text message when he found out about it… “Looks like you found your trouble-maker for the teen years!”

Thankful for our Blessings

Two bouncing baby boys have blessed our lives and we’re very thankful that we experienced the delivery of our twins with no need for NICU time (see my note below).  After our experience with Wyatt and the hospital only a year passed, it was beyond wonderful that these little guys came out fully developed, healthy, breathing properly, etc.  I have to credit my wife who lived in misery for a good month or two but who had the determination to make sure these boys “cooked” thoroughly!  Good job baby!

We get a lot of comments about being “blessed” and while the sentiment behind it is always sweet and we appreciate it, it’s definitely one of those things that is somewhat hard to swallow.  We’ve had such a yin and a yang year with the loss of one child and now the birth of two new ones that it seems for every time we feel blessed, we also know that it wasn’t long ago that we felt cursed.

It’s very difficult to make sense of it all and I will never fully understand how or why the journey of Wyatt and his twin brothers went the way it did. 

But there is no doubt that our family is a better, stronger unit and that we do feel eternally grateful for the things we do have.  Parker, the twins, each other, family and friends, a roof over our heads and food on the table.  There really isn’t much else in life.

And so… we are thankful.  And we will continue to count and appreciate the blessings we have received.  Currently, the “majors” are tallied at four.  Parker Trent, Wyatt Reese, Morgan Wyatt, and Warren Reese… our four cowboys who’ve blessed our lives and made us the wonderful family we are today.

Welcome to the family Morgan (6 lbs, 10 oz), and Warren (8lbs) we are happy you're finally here!

--Corey

NOTE:  The article above was written the day of the birth of the Leamon twins on June 2nd, 2009 and everything seemed to have gone really well.  But on the next day, an unbelievable scare for me and my family occurred… one that would threaten to delay the return home of Morgan and send us roaring emotionally right back to our experience with Wyatt and time spent in the NICU.  Stay tuned for my next article which will chronicle those events.
 

This morning, we received the news we were expecting from Trisha's Doctor.  He gently and sympathetically described the scenarios in which we can move forward with the birth of our twins, both of us knowing that he was doing his best to let us down as easy as possible since we understood that Trisha's pregnancy did not fit any of those scenarios.  Alas, we continue to wait and as if the news wasn't difficult enough, Trisha found herself in more pain than I think she's experienced the entire ride up until this point.  Between the contractions and the back pain, I could see in her eyes how beaten down she was (more on that in a minute).

So the news is this... we are waiting and hoping her body knows how to go into labor, sooner rather than later as the only cure for her pain is to have these babies!  Dr. Langford explained that the following issues will allow him to move forward with delivery:

• Her water breaks
• Her contractions become more intense and frequent and "change" the make-up of her cervix
• An escalation of something that would put these babies at risk (i.e. high blood pressure)
• An elective induction once the 38 week milestone is reached (which she hits next Thursday)

In the meantime, I can report that the babies are doing very, very well and as Dr. Langford explains, the trade-off for allowing these babies to incubate will make it that much more likely we will spend little to no time in the ICU, the importance of this being that much more heightened by our experience with Wyatt at this time last year.

Finally, knowing my wife probably feels like she's completely clobbered, I wanted to send her an e-mail, some sort of futile attempt at lifting her spirits some.  But I think this is a better place to do it, not quite the grand declaration she deserves but its from the heart and you all can be witnesses!  So without further adieu, here it goes, a note and picture in an attempt to help her find her "happy place" for one more week (and some change)!

"Dear Trisha,

Well, I’m sure you’re disappointed and that is casting an even brighter spotlight on your pain and discomfort, but unfortunately, I cannot take that pain from you and all I have are words.  But know that I am very proud of you and that I will do whatever is needed to make this last week, week and a half as easy as possible on you (and I know that’s not nearly enough).  And who knows, maybe your water will break and we’ll get in sooner!

In the meantime, I appreciate the sacrifice you are making to make sure those babies are as healthy as possible and hopefully, allow all of us to avoid that ICU.  We will both be extremely thankful for it in the long run should this run its course the proper way and you've taken that all on your shoulders (and back, hips, ankles, internal organs, etc).

We're almost there Pinks, hang in there, I love you!

Love,

Corey

So that's it for now, the clock continues to tick... slowly but surely, our day is coming and in the meantime, we will do our best to not lose it... well, not lose it completely anyway!

--Corey

 

The anticipation for the birth of the Leamon twins is certainly thick and juicy, but alas, the process has slowed and we continue to wait for the arrival of our little cowboys.  In light of this, I wanted to take some time to reflect.  It was one year ago today that we experienced the utter horror of watching our 9-month-old little boy slowly fade away right before our eyes.  Thirty timeless days of seeing my little boy getting sicker, more afraid, poked, prodded, drugged, tested and taken from us over and over until he simply couldn't take it any longer.  Essentially, one year ago, our son began his journey out of this life and into another and in doing so, left his family and friends in shock, sadness and tears.

With this kind of traumatic experience that one cannot fully describe via words or speech, one could imagine how destructive it could be to a parent, a couple and a family.  Often times, there is no coming back from something like this.

But something is happening.  This experience has changed us.  It has made this family stronger.  And while we certainly continue to grieve (and will do so until the day we join Wyatt in the next life), we are also finding happiness, laughter, comfort... occasionally, even peace.

So as we welcome new life into our home and continue to shed our tears for the life that was taken so abruptly from us, we relive the next thirty days in our heavy hearts and memories as if it were yesterday.  All the while, we anticipate the coming of a new adventure and will embrace the moments where we can take a break from the sadness and cry our tears of joy, somehow straddling the fence of a full range of the human emotional experience compressed into a what is ultimately a mere thirty day sliver in the vast reaches of time. 

We have begun to rise from the ashes of our burned down former lives and are taking the lessons learned from our tragic tale and applying them to every waking moment, allowing the positive winds of change to flow through us as we take strength from what Wyatt ultimately sacrificed for us.  On June 22nd, the one year anniversary of his death, I will post all the ways Wyatt has made me a better person on what will ultimately become his "Virtual Vigil".

Perhaps Wyatt has taught you something as well?  If so, I hope you will contribute too his vigil and prepare something to post that day as well in the comments field.

We love and miss you Wyatt, Godspeed little "Pie Man"...

--Corey

Some updates, thoughts, emotions, feelings and general points in no particular order...

• Twins are coming!  The baby room is ready with two cribs, we have our double-stroller, the pack 'n play, two car seats, clothes and diapers up the wazoo.  I'm even packed for the hospital in anticipation of "the call".
• Trisha is 35 weeks along on Thursday and will cease taking her contraction meds (which she's been taking for months to stop her contractions) on Friday.  From there it could be a day, could be a few weeks... we'll find out soon enough!
• Things overall are going well for Trisha's pregnancy.  It's been very, very difficult (as usual), but I think mentally, this has been our best go-'round.  Perspective is truly amazing... (see "advice" below).
• I have a personal hope that the twins are born on May 22nd (exactly one year that Wyatt was hospitalized).  If not that day, then June 2nd (both Wyatt and Parker were born on a "2nd").  I'm all about the 2nd's.
• If the twins are born on something other than the 2nd or the 22nd, it won't make a damn bit of difference.
• While everyone "can't wait" for us to go into labor (as do I), I worry about hospitals, ICU's, complications and the potential for either or both of these children to not make it.
• I am going to cry like a baby on the following occasions:  the birth of my twins, the first day home, their first birthday.
• Despite my fears, I am happy for the blessing and opportunity of having these new boys in my life.
• It's hard for me to admit it, but I am a happier, better person than I was a year ago and Wyatt's death is responsible for that (yet it's EXTREMELY unfair).
• At the exact same time, I am as crushed today about the loss of my son as I was the day it happened, and the day he was buried and on his birthday and so on.
• If I had one piece of advice for anyone, it's don't wait for life to teach you the hard way about what's most important... then apply that awareness to every waking moment.
• I notice that many of my friends and family still wear the green bracelets that commemorate Wyatt... and I notice those who don't.
• There is a significant dividing line between those who acknowledge and embrace us for what we've experienced with Wyatt and those who feel uncomfortable going there.  I think the ones who do are rewarded with a much, much deeper, more meaningful friendship / relationship with my family.
• It is a very difficult balancing act dealing with the loss of a child and the birth of a new one (or "ones" in our case), but I am proud that Trisha and I have managed to do it.
• I will never let go of at least one of those babies unless its to hold Parker, my wife or give a loved one a hug.
• The month of June will bring celebration and reflection for new life, life passed on and most importantly, for our future... together.

The countdown to the arrival of the Leamon twin boys is in full effect.  Amid the hoopla of this final leg of the marathon, along with the impending anniversary of the passing of our little Pie Man, it's probably a fitting time to check in with our eldest little Cowboy, er elf warrior and report on how he's doing with all of this activity.

Parker's World

Parker has traded in his spurs for pointy ears and a green cloak because his favorite thing to do these days is play the Wii with Dada, especially The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (thanks to our friends the Newcombs, we'll return your game and book soon!).  The Legend of Zelda video game stars "Link", an elf hero who goes on a massive quest to help save "The Twilight Princess" and two entire worlds of light and dark.  Parker's imagination is in full swing and he loves to make makeshift swords and pretend to "get the Bad Guys"!  He rides on Dada's back to go to bed as if Dada is his horse (Epona) and of course, he will go by the name "Parker" or "Link", whichever you prefer. 

We've also recently enjoyed playing miniature golf, hitting the beach for some sand and surfing, and even roller skating!  He truly is having a great time and seems to be such a happy, content little boy.  We are just so blessed to have him in our lives.

He also continues to amaze us with his growing vocabulary, even using some of our own favorite sayings in the right context.  His latest phrases have included "Man Alive!", calling someone a "Silly Goose" and even told his Ampa Jack "Goodnight, sleep good!".  He's also been practicing his numbers and has been known to both rattle them off and sing about them at the drop of a hat!  He's doing very, very well in school and his best subject is putting together maps!  According to his teacher and witnessed by us first hand on parent night, he puts together entire map puzzles of several continents including Africa which the majority of the students in his class are unable to do (even the kids who are one and two years older)!

Parker and Pie Man

It's hard to say if he senses the upcoming anniversary of Wyatt's passing, perhaps he's picking up the extra emotion we are feeling these days, but Parker has been talking a lot about his little brother.  He draws pictures of him, kisses his image on both mine and Trish's tattoos, and has recently said some of the most insightful things about his brother including how Wyatt went to heaven because he needed a new liver. 

This continues to be a source of both endearment and sadness for us.  It's beyond clear that Parker has vivid memories of Wyatt and longs for his company.  I believe his interaction with his younger cousins and friends illustrates how much he misses his little brother and I just wish he did not have to grow up while his brother remains 9-months-old forever.  The thought of Parker as a teenager having to explain to his friends that he once had a baby brother who died from liver failure is pretty gut wrenching.  But I know he will be great at honoring his brother while continuing to find his way in his own life.

Parker's happiness and innocence is a source of strength, inspiration and love for both Trisha and I and I am very thankful to have him in my life and for helping us get through the first of several difficult years of grief over the loss of our son.

Parker's New Posse

One of the coolest things about Parker these days is his love of these new babies that are on the way!  While I'm sure Mama "going away" to the hospital for several days or even weeks is going to be very difficult for him (he definitely displays some hints of anxiety for that), I think he will have such appreciation for when his new brothers come home. 

Its just the cutest thing when he sings, talks and kisses Trish's belly and calls them by their names "Warren" and "Morgan".  I think Parker's interaction with the little guys is my most highly anticipated aspect of having babies in our house again.  It can't come soon enough!

Twins Updates

We took Parker with us to the doctor today, he always lights up at the doctors office and enjoys seeing the little dudes on the screen.  Here are the latest updates regarding Trisha's pregnancy and the twins:

• There are over 10 pounds worth of babies in Trisha's belly!  Warren is about 5 1/2 pounds and Morgan is about 4 1/2 pounds.  Just to compare, Parker was born at 7 pounds, Wyatt at 8 pounds! 
• Our doctor is projecting that we will go at least another 4 to 6 weeks based on Trisha's measurements!
• Trisha has only gained 2 whole pounds the entire pregnancy!  Again to compare, for both Wyatt and Parker she gained over 50 pounds each time!
• Morgan has been Roly Poly!  He was breach, then head down, breach again, but is now head down again.  We're hoping he's out of room now so that he stays head down and gives Trisha a chance for a natural birth.
• Warren's growth rate is in the 100% percentile and Morgan 85% percentile... in other words, compared with other pregnancies, they are growing like mad!

So as I stated above, the countdown to the twins is in full effect and Trisha, myself, and most of all, "Parky Loo" cannot wait to have them bless our lives and complete our little posse of cowboys.  From what I can tell, Parker will have no trouble trading back in his sword and shield for spurs and six-shooters... at least he'll still have his horse to carry him up to bed!

Goodnight my kids, Parker, Wyatt, Morgan, Warren, love you!

--Corey

As we close in on the time of year where the anniversaries of what will probably end up being the worst period in mine (and my family's) lives, I thought it would be a good opportunity to try and do something positive.  Hopefully that will help channel some of the sad energy and grief that will be sure to build up as May and June get nearer.

The good news is, not only is what I'm asking a simple request, but it's something that all of you, my friends, family and those of you who on the periphery who've followed along with us and Wyatt every step of the way can do.

What is it that you can do?  It's simple... spread the word. 

April is National Donate Life Month.  An entire month dedicated to blood, organ and tissue donation. 

After our experience with losing Wyatt, our eyes were completely opened to what is actually a critical need in this country.  Something that is such an easy solution that costs no money and very little time but for some reason, only a fraction of our population takes part in... signing up to be an organ donor.  While I cannot begin to advise on the solution to what seems to be some sort of blanket avoidance to acknowledge our own mortality, what I can hope for is helping people understand that there are thousands and thousands of people, including little babies like Wyatt, who are waiting for organs and who are being kept alive thanks to blood and tissue donors.

In light of the importance of this cause, I'm asking all of my friends and family to spread the word and use "Wyatt's Story" as a vehicle to help call people to action.  Here's what you do:

- Open a new e-mail message

- Enter your groups, contacts, everyone, into the "TO" field

- Add a the subject line

Wyatt (AKA Pie Man) and National Donate Life Month

- Add the message

Hello!

Did you know that April is National Donate Life month?  Over 100,000 people are waiting for a life-saving organ donation currently in the US.  Right now, in hospitals across the country, 130 BABIES, with terrified parents are sitting in a pediatric ICU waiting for the phone call that might save their infants life.  The number nearly hits 1000 when you include teens and children over one year. 

Why, is this important to me?  I know a family who were devastated when they lost their 9-month-old son Wyatt as he deteriorated from liver disease.  Primarily due to the lack of available organ donors, he was not able to receive a donation in time and after a 30 day battle in the hospital, his body gave out and he departed our world.

The Leamon family want you all to view his story video and website at:  www.wyattsleamonadestand.com/story.html.  And if you haven't already done so, please sign-up to be an organ donor at www.donatelife.net.

Oh, and one other thing... pass this message on to your list of contacts to help spread the message and affect some much needed change!

Thank you! 

- Hit send!

- Be accountable!  Post a comment here or on my wall in Facebook when you're done!

That's it!  You send your funny videos, jokes, bible verses, political commentary, hoaxes and chain letters this way... now do the same for something that could truly make a difference to those little babies who are waiting in the ICU, getting sicker and sicker, as their anxious parents wait by the phone for another call, hoping and praying that this next organ offer will be a match for their little one.

And if you haven't already, please go to www.donatelife.net and sign-up to be an organ donor, it literally takes minutes to potentially save a life!

Thanks to all of you who step-up and help us spread Wyatt's message.

--Corey

 

I am a big, freakin' loser.

No really, I am... and proud of it!  I recently won two "Biggest Loser" challenges that were held at my Chiropractors office and now that it's over, I have a little time to reflect on the past several months... especially concerning the promise I made to my family after Wyatt passed away.  If you don't remember it, check out this blog article I posted on the topic.

To boil it down, I promised to get healthy, lose weight, reduce stress, etc. and overall, I think we as a family have taken great strides in doing so.  I personally have lost 30 pounds exactly and will continue to try and slowly drop maybe another 5 to 10 before the twins arrive (just in time for summer). 

With the help of a nutrition coach and her Herbalife program of smoothies/shakes and some natural supplements along with healthy eating and moderate exercise (mainly tennis and some gym cardio), I was able to drop my 30 pounds during the holidays (I started a couple weeks before Thanksgiving) and even had a Hawaiian vacation right in the middle of it!  In fact, if you count the pounds I gained back and then re-lost on that trip alone, I've really lost about 35 pounds! ;-)

But more than the weight, I think Trisha would back me up here, I've gained a lot more.  The energy difference is remarkable and has allowed me to be a much better help around the house, the tension and stress "getting healthy" helped me to reduce was an unbelievably wonderful way to help channel and process my grief over Wyatt, and when you add the chiropractic treatment to the mix, suddenly, its clear that my immune and nervous system is functioning better allowing me to sail through the latest flu/cold season with hardly a sniffle (even though I did not get a flu shot).  To see some additional chiropractic and weight loss pics, you can check out the photo album I created that highlights my progress over the past few months.

In the end, fulfilling my promise to my family, friends, myself and even to Wyatt, has been an extremely rewarding experience... a complete life changer.  And I sincerely know that as I go through what I believe will be our final pregnancy, for the first time I have the tools that will allow me to maintain the goals I've accomplished and for that I'm very excited and proud and look forward to being there for my wife and kids in whatever capacity they need from me.

The days of losing and gaining are definitely over!  I'm a third of a way through life and this next third should be quite a wild ride with Parker getting older and two twin brothers on the way!  Zeroing in on living a happy, healthy lifestyle will provide the maximum benefit for this next chapter!

--Corey

 

We're still a couple months away from the birth of our twins (knock on wood) but I thought I'd take this time to answer a question we get quite often... do we have names yet?  I am very happy to report that we have settled on names and they not only have great qualities in their own right, but are very special in that they honor their little angel brother Wyatt about as best as could be.  So read on for the back story of the Leamon twins names as well as the latest updates from the pregnancy front!

The Tale of Two (Twins) Names

First, when it came to naming Wyatt, many of you may have remembered that originally, Trisha and I had settled on "Evan" as his name.  The compromise came after a heated battle over the name "Wyatt" which I truly, truly loved as a big fan of Wyatt Earp and his legend.  But Trisha initially was dead set against that name and it was definitely a sour point for both of us and eventually we just moved on to somewhat of a default name.

To her credit, Trisha came around in the final week before he was born and the rest of course is history, it ended up being the most perfect name for a perfect little angel!

After losing Wyatt and then finding out we were pregnant again, we almost immediately thought of honoring Wyatt by naming the newcomer in one of two ways.  First, "Reese" (Wyatt's middle name) could be either a boy or a girls name so that's always a great option.  The second, and if the baby was to be a boy, we explored an idea I had regarding Wyatt Earp and his brothers.  I knew he had two older brothers and a younger brother (turns out, Wyatt Earp actually had three older brothers and two younger ones) so I thought we'd throw those into the mix as well.

But then, as you all know, something crazy happened.  TWINS!!!  And without knowing the sex of the babies yet, we went into this crazy name game where we had to come up with all kinds of combos for boys, girls and one of each.  But in our hearts, we definitely wanted to do our best to honor Wyatt in the new baby names.

It wasn't long after learning that these boys would complete our "posse" of boys that we circled back around to the Earp clan and leaned on them for inspiration one last time.

So without further adieu, I'd like to introduce our little guys!

Morgan Wyatt Leamon - Named after Morgan Earp the younger brother who fought alongside Wyatt and their older brother Virgil at the OK Corral in Tombstone.  He is famously portrayed by Bill Paxton in the movie Tombstone.

Warren Reese Leamon - Named after the youngest male sibling of Wyatt Earp, Warren is not as famous as his older brothers because he was not present for the famous gunfight, but did ride alongside him and Doc Holiday during the "Earp Vendetta" against the cowboys who assassinated Morgan and wounded Virgil.

So as our final months of this wild ride wind down, we simply cannot wait to meet our two new additions to the Leamon clan.  We know that these two cowboys will love and be so proud of the origins of their names because they are in honor of such a wonderful little boy who will always be their big brother Wyatt!

The Latest Pregnancy Updates

• Trisha is now 27 weeks along
• For the entire pregnancy, Trisha has only gained one pound!
• Both babies are head down, so there is a good chance she can deliver naturally.
• Morgan (baby #1) is just over 2 pounds!
• Warren (baby #2) is approx 3 pounds!

--Corey